The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang
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| Published June 2018 |
Stella Lane believe math is the only thing that connects everything to the universe. She creates algorithms to predict customer's future spending. A job that gives her more money than she knows what to do with. But Stella has Asperger Syndrome, also known as High Functioning Autism, which makes her obsess over her work, and gives her less experience being intimate with another person. It doesn't help that french kissing reminds her of pilot fish cleaning out a sharks mouth. Her parents want her to get married, to start having kids, where they feel a 30 year old should be. Stella doesn't like the idea of being intimate with someone, let alone babies, but she doesn't want to disappoint her parents, so she hires and escort to teach her how to be intimate, sex and all.
So this does get into Spoilers, if you would like a less spoilery review, check out my video: The Kiss Quotient Review // spoiler-ish
I loved Stella. I don't have High Functioning Autism nor do I know anyone who does so I couldn't say whether or not this is an accurate representation, however I appreciate the representation non-the-less, because it's different and it's something I feel is relevant to today that we don't hear about, ever, in books. Stella was fun, smart, and awkward and she made for a good read. She also had some issues I felt were very valid. She didn't like people knowing she had autism, because they start treating her differently, walking on egg shells, so she never told her escort about her condition. He ends up finding out on his own, and having experience with other's with Autism he knows how to treat Stella, but doesn't tell her he knows.
The whole concept of this smutty book (yes it is smutty, there is sex) was very intriguing to me, but I also went in cautious. as the last smut I read was Fifty Shades of Grey. Sadly it felt like this book had pulled elements from the E.L. James series. Prime example: "sex contract" vs. agreement to teach sex turns into love story. Then there is Michael Phan: Stella's hired escort/sex trainer. We get his point of view through out the book, which I feel like if we didn't would take away from the story, but it was also his point of view that I didn't like. Michael has temper issues, but never acts on them, but because we get his point of view we constantly are able to know he's trying to distract himself from acting on them. He's also possessive. I personally feel a little possessiveness can go a long way, and Michael was right on the border of "too much" where on multiple occasions I was thinking "back off" as I read his chapters. He also had an ex client that was obsessed with him. If you ever read Fifty Shades there's a woman that basically turned Christian Grey to BDSM, Anastasia Steele hated her with a passion, and hated any time Grey got in contact with her, this ex client was similar in The Kiss Quotient in that Stella didn't like her, she didn't like Michael near her, and she didn't like the fact he was driving a car she bought for him, and funny enough was old enough and wealthy enough that she was friends with Stella's parents. There were just too many similarities for my liking.
What I did appreciate was how much Stella was different from Anastasia Steele. While Steele was constantly trying to undermine Grey and prove she was independent and could do her own thing with out his help, she ultimately always wound up relying on him. Stella had a wonderful character growth moment in which she accepted her autism and refused to change it for anyone, because it was her, and if no one could love her for her, she didn't deserve them. Just yes! We need more messages like this.
The sex over all in the book wasn't how I had anticipated either. So Stella had some issues with sex, she wasn't comfortable with it. Not that she wasn't a virgin, she'd had sexual relations before, but they were never pleasant, the men used her for their own gratification while she laid there uncomfortably. So when Michael and her tried to get intimate the first few times, Stella had some breakdowns. Which I thought was an interesting way to go, that the whole book in itself would be one big tease, as they'd get closer and closer each time, but find another hurtle they'd have to figure out. That wasn't the case, by the third time they try to have sex they succeed, mind you, Stella isn't facing Michael because the next challenge was intimacy, she felt vulnerable and she didn't want to, another hurtle to pass that ended too quickly. Basically as soon as they could have sex they did. Which was a little disappointing. Not the sex scenes, just the progression of them.
Sadly the ending of this book irritated me, because of Michael. He had his own issues, that he proceeded to repeat through out the book. His did was a criminal, his mom was sick, he's helping his mom out, cleaning up his dad's mess, and escorting to help his family out financially. Michael has terrible self esteem, thinking he wouldn't be worth much to anyone, and how could anyone love him with how many women he's screwed. I felt like Hoang was reaching for Michael's issues, and the repetition and reminders of them made me skim his chapters, it felt like whining, and they ultimately were excuses for him not to be happy because he felt like he could have stopped his dad from destroying his family.
The ending of The Kiss Quotient could have been written better. At one point Stella discovers a spending pattern, that married men stop buying their own underwear, because their wives buy them. Michael mentions it's because women like to take care of those they love, so Stella believes she created the algorithm for love. Wanting to see if Michael loves her, Stella buys him underwear and puts it in his clothes drawer with a bow around it. If he wears it he loves her. Well of course they "break up" the same day, he packs his things, sees the underwear and thinks nothing of it. I, personally, expected the story to take a How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days twist in that the algorithm is published in some article, Michael sees it and tries to get Stella back with some romantic gesture. No, that's not how this book went. Instead Michael sees Stella on a date with a co-worker, the co-worker tries to force himself on Stella, Michael punches him, Stella tries to go home alone, saying she's trying to get over Michael and it clicks. "In order for her to 'get over' me she had to be in love with me" so he proceeds to stalk her for the next week, sending flowers to her office everyday, and calling every day asking her on a date, proclaiming he's fighting for her and doesn't know any other way to court a woman. I believe this is a nod to when Stella admitted she would become a stalker ex client of his because she cared so much, so Michael was proving that Stella was his obsession, but it just came off creepy, to the point where he walked out of the shadows of her work's parking garage creepy. But she still wont take him back until she sees that he's wearing the underwear she bought him, which of course he happened to be. It also ended with Michael telling Stella he was going to ask her to marry him in three months. Which, for some reason, bugs me. I'm not against marriage, it just feels like a very Young Adult trope to do, and happens to be one I get tired of, just because I feel like putting a ring on a finger shouldn't be how you prove your devotion to someone.
Over all, as much as I'd like to give this book a higher rating, for Stella alone, I brought it down because of Michael. Three out of five stars.
And that's my review for Helen Hoang's The Kiss Quotient.
I most likely will pick up the next book in the series The Bride Test as it doesn't follow Stella or Michael but rather Michael's cousin Khai, who also has autism.
If you read this book let me know what you think, would love to discuss.
Until next time!
Litta
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